Rape, Conception, Misconception, GOP and GOD
Last week GOP senate candidate from that perennially red state
(voted GOP from 1964 through 2004) but lately turned blue (voted Obama in 2008),
Indiana, redoubtable Mr Mourdock declared that if a woman gets pregnant as a
result of a rape, it must be God’s will. When this statement raised a hue and
cry from the usual liberal, commie, feminist, Obamaniacs crowd, aka traitors of
America, Mr Mourdock, (unlike Mr Todd Akin, another GOP senate candidate from
Missouri who also had much to say about rape, but chose to stand by his lunatic
assertions) quickly backtracked and invoked the politician’s fifth amendment.
(The Fifth Amendment to the American constitution allows an accused person to
refuse to testify against oneself in order to avoid self-incrimination.
Politicians, being what they are, have conveniently defined a fifth amendment
of their own in which any of their egregious remarks can be claimed to be
‘taken out of context’). He claimed that rape of a woman is not God’s will,
though the pregnancy resulting from such a rape is still God’s will.
Predictably, Mr Romney distanced himself from this controversy while
reaffirming his position as pro-life. Naturally, as an Indian American blogger
of American political matters, I wished to interview Mr Mourdock on such a
weighty matter.
Me: Mr Mourdock, thank you for taking time out from your
busy schedule for this interview.
Mr Mourdock: It is God’s will. So you should thank God.
Me: Certainly. Thank you God for taking time out from your
busy schedule for this interview.
MM: Ok, now fire.
Me: (to myself, tongue in cheek, “I am sorry Mr Mourdock, I
am not here to interview you on your views about the Second Amendment”)
Me: I would like to talk about God’s Will.
MM: I am glad that you want to talk about God’s Will. If
everybody talks about God’s Will, then we will have a GOP-controlled senate, I
mean we will have a better America.
Me: Do you believe that the sanctity of life is God’s Will?
MM: Certainly. Life is the most precious gift from God and
all the most precious gifts from God are obviously God’s Will. Why would God
gift something precious if He didn’t intend
to gift it? It is only logical.
Me: Do you believe that life begins at conception?
MM: Of course! I am the most pro-life candidate in the
entire universe. Life begins at conception and conception begins with God’s
Will.
Me: So every conception is God’s will, even in case of a
pregnancy that endangers the life of mother?
MM: The answer to your first question is Yes and the answer
to your second question is No. Yes, every conception is God’s Will and No,
endangering the mother’s life is not God’s Will.
Me: (perplexed) Mr Mourdock, these are not two separate
questions. It is a single question. Is a conception that endangers the mother’s
life God’s Will?
MM: Yes and No. Yes, every conception is God’s Will and No,
endangering the mother’s life is not God’s Will.
Me: (exasperated) Is a conception resulting from a rape of a
woman God’s Will?
MM: Yes and No. Yes, every conception is God’s Will and No,
rape of a woman is not God’s Will.
Me: (almost tearing my (remaining) hair out) But Mr.
Mourdock, if the God didn’t intend the rape to happen, how could he intend the
conception to happen, which is the result of the very thing he didn’t intend to
happen? Rape is the cause and conception is the effect. Even if your colleague Mr. Akin doesn’t believe so. How can God intend the effect but be against the
cause? How can it be logical?
MM: God obviously intended the conception to happen but He
obviously didn’t intend the rape to happen. Why bring logic into a matter of
faith?
Me: Do you think everything that happens in this world is
God’s Will?
MM: Certainly Not! This is a misconception. Do YOU think
Obama becoming President was God’s Will? Heck, even Romney becoming a candidate
was not much of His Will though it was his will. I mean Romney’s will.
Me: If everything that happens in the world is not God’s
will, how do you go about determining what is God’s Will and what is not? For
example, how do you know that Obama becoming the President was not God’s will?
It was certainly American People’s will, so why wouldn’t it be God’s will too?
MM: (with a condescending demeanor used by a patient teacher
while explaining a difficult concept to a slow child or to Ann Coulter) Because Obama becoming
President is not the Gee Oh Pee’s will so it can’t be Gee Oh Dee’s will either.
Remember, we, the Gee Oh Pee, and especially the Tea Party know what is Gee Oh
Dee’s Will. And that is why the only compromise that I can allow once I am
elected to the senate is where the Democrats agree to what is God’s Will. If
you agree with me then you are also agreeing with God.
Me: (Triumphantly) And that is why I thanked You in the beginning
of this interview. And I would like to thank You again, at the end of the
interview. Thank you God for taking time out from your busy schedule for this
interview.
